The art of having a baby without having it yourself – and surviving

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I’m not quite sure that we are prepared for baby Lexa to arrive in just over a month. We have stuff, but everything is somewhere between haphazard and a mess. We have now received gifts from my parents and sister, my work colleagues (*story to tell here).

To make everything worse, we still have to pack for our migration to KZN. We really have to carefully think about what we have to pack to survive in our other home city, what to take to hospital and still fit 3 cats and my mother into the car. It is going to be a tight squeeze.

…so today my colleagues surprised me with a baby shower. At work. Luring me to a boardroom for a meeting. Sneaking stuff in through a door they won’t have to walk by my desk. They just didn’t expect my reaction…

I arrived late at the “meeting” and there it was, a table with people, cake and gifts… my worst nightmare, a surprise. As quickly as I opened the door I closed it, joking that I will be locking them all in. Taking 3 seconds to compose myself on the other side of the door.

IMG_7614It wasn’t that it didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy that my friends at work would do something like this for me, but it was rather the fact that I dislike being the center of attention when I don’t expect it. If I had a warning I would have had time to prepare myself, but I appreciated the beautiful gesture from my colleagues so much.

IMG_7615Today my husband had the wonderful task of chatting to the surrogate mother about natural or slice ‘n dice birth. Secretly I am laughing at him…I am evil like that.

I know you are wondering why I’m not more involved in this process with the surrogate mom. I can hear people’s questions that they are too scared to ask :). The simple truth is, I’m already having to miss out on the whole experience – why would I torture myself to think about what I will never experience? I have been through hell – more than once – and if I can spare myself just a bit of heartache…that is what I will do.

What baby stuff do we have?

Well we have an assortment of clothes ranging from 0 – 24 months, toys, stroller with a carry thingy magigy that slots into a thing that clips into your car, cot for here and one for the coast, some soaps and creams, diapers (mostly Huggies for some weird reason).

We do need to look at buying bottles and dummies and probably need to sort through the clothes and stuff to actually know what is there, but you know how it goes… there is always tomorrow. I’m just really petrified the surrogate drops the baby earlier than expected and we are still not prepared.

Do you think we are cutting it a bit close? What is your experience with the different diaper brands?

I am a Johannesburg based freelance writer, social media manager - and of course share bits from my life with you on this blog. We have 2 kids through surrogacy and 3 black cats.

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