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She takes some getting used to…

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I still call her it – sometimes. I don’t find feeding time a time for bonding or relaxing. The screaming and crying is like a flock of seagulls attacking food… Whatever comes out of the bottom end is pure evil.

She isn’t normal – she has neck muscles that allow her to give bloody lips. That head whips around like an angry snake when it is awake. She moves around her cot like she is paid to rack up miles.

Feeding time isn’t relaxing or time for bonding. It is a feeding frenzy of a hungry shark. She whips her head lexa-3around and screams about the bottle she just can’t grab with her mouth. When she has it in her mouth it sounds like a demon and a monster in your closet wolfing down its prey.

When it falls asleep mid bottle that is a whole different kind of hell… it sleeps for 10, 20 or 30 minutes then the sirens get turned on at full blast. The monster wants her bottle. When she finishes that, there is no sleep. Sleep is the only thing she doesn’t want to do. The appendages are flying in all directions and the face scrunches into the most comical expressions – but the mouth may at any time erupt.

It didn’t even look human a week ago. It was fugly. Seriously fugly. It scares my cats… I call her Noisy Girl – as if that is a super power. It thinks it owns you and that you have nothing better to do than hold it in a specific position so she can sleep.

Lexa definitely takes some getting used to…

I am a Johannesburg based freelance writer, social media manager - and of course share bits from my life with you on this blog. We have 2 kids through surrogacy and 3 black cats.

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