How do you know when a friendship has run its course?

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I loved watching Sex and The city. Those girls were the epitome of what friendship should be. They were there for each other through the good, the bad and everything inbetween.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”

Walter Winchell

Finally in adulthood I have 2 best friends. We don’t hang out every weekend but when we see each other we pick up where we left off. It’s the way we like it, it works for us.

Then I made some friends from work. Every couple of months we all just check in but if we see each other or not, it doesn’t matter. There are the exceptions that live very far now that I have seen since we all split especially my friend in UK whom I absolutely just adore.

At the last company I worked we got a new boss and obviously everyone was stalking her online and I took one look at the photo and I predicted exactly how her personality would affect us all. Every single thing I said reared its ugly head and was even worse than I predicted. This woman forced us to bond together to protect each other.

New friends… I’ve never really been a very social person and I find it hard to connect with “humans” because I judge people and put them in a box. I’ve rarely been wrong, but it also means that before you had a chance to show who you are I’ve tagged and flagged you.

So how do you know when your friendship is over?

Answer these questions and decide if the writing is on the wall:

  • When last did you connect?
  • Do you still share interests?
  • Who do you share your good news with?
  • Do you still have anything to talk about?
  • Do you celebrate each other’s achievements?
  • Do they make you feel bad about yourself?
  • Are they taking advantage of you?

No one likes letting go of a friendship, but sometimes you just outgrow each other and then it is time to let go. It is better to realise that not all friendships are made to last.

I am a Johannesburg based freelance writer, social media manager - and of course share bits from my life with you on this blog. We have 2 kids through surrogacy and 3 black cats.

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